After I got done doing one of my lives last week, someone asked me to expand upon what self-sabotage is and what it looks like in business. Having done TONS of work on making sure this doesn’t happen myself I admittedly forgot that we don’t talk about this enough because it’s a “touchy” topic.
Anyone who knows me understands that I feel honesty is the best policy and so we are just going to go ahead and dive into this thing!
Comparisonitis is this icky (technical term) thing what we do when we start comparing ourselves and our success to others. It can be comparing to people who have been in business longer than we have which isn’t even fair to ourselves because we haven’t had the same amount of time to rock it. It could also be looking at people at the same level who seem to have it all together. The issue here is that they often do not (smoke and mirrors) AND no matter what, they offer something completely different.
This nasty business illness can leave you feeling defeated and stalled because in the recesses of your mind…why bother.
2. Crappy Money Stories
There are numerous money stories that people can go through. Some of the most common are always being broke, living paycheck to paycheck, and not feeling worthy. Add in a sprinkle of relatives who just don’t get it and you’ve got a powerful tsunami of bullshit to wade through.
I’m going to put myself out there and tell you that I have ALL of these that I have dealt with. I’m about 95% past it all now but it took TIME and effort.
When you go through a period of time where you don’t have money or struggle, this can get embedded in your brain as a story. These stories replay in our little brains without our knowing it and we can actually keep that story going by not taking action or making ourselves feel unworthy.
If you catch yourself in this pattern, you can consciously do some journaling and self-worth talk to help kick it to the curb. Better yet, have your coach help you which ultimately gets you out of the muck way faster!
3. Letting Overwhelm Control You
Raise your hand if you’ve been overwhelmed in your business. Ok…not THAT high. I feel you girl.
What happens is that overwhelm turns into hopelessness and that hopelessness turns into inaction.
Ever feel like you don’t know what to do first or like you can’t make a dent in that project? Ever find yourself saying “why bother” and never getting it done?
Boom….the overwhelm beastie has a hold on you! This is another knowledge is power kind of thing. This one is easy to catch yourself doing and putting a stop to it right now.
4. “Accepting” Defeat
First things first – you are never defeated.
We have all had those times when nobody is signing or buying. We have crickets everywhere we go. And for the love of all that’s holy….those friends and family want to know when you are just going to give up.
Ugh. It’s a horrible place and we end up waving a white flag as an acceptance of this horrible defeat. The problem is that most of the time we truthfully haven’t tried hard enough to make it happen. Listen…I said I was honest. We didn’t do enough of the things or we spent 14 hours in Canva rather than creating content (like this).
You aren’t defeated. You just need a new plan and you need to ignore those who don’t support your vision. You can keep them around but just realize that negativity is often a reflection of someone who’s never had a dream as big as yours. They truly can’t relate my love.
5. Not Taking Action, Getting Visible or Investing Time and $$$
Don’t hide. I know who you are. I see you (or sometimes I don’t because you’re hiding).
I see women on the regular complaining that they don’t have clients yet I’ve never seen them tell people what they do, they’re dropping links for social with absolutely no copy telling me why I should even follow, they aren’t putting out offers, they post once a month and have they ever written anything…like ever?
Listen. You all know I love you but it’s time to figure out if this is a hobby or a business and if your why is big enough. If that why is big enough, you need to show up and you need to treat it like such.
If you aren’t investing time, you have a serious problem. And for me, investing with coaches is a must. It’s not about “how-tos.” It’s about having another person who knows what the heck they are doing to tell you when you are going off the rails and when you need to reroute sister.
6. Something Always Comes Up
This is one of the most disguised ones that people don’t realize is happening. It’s the big grand pappy. You’re seriously going to do an oh my goodness and gasp on some of this.
How many times have you had a big launch, big goals, something you are creating or something you swear to yourself that you are going to do for your business that gets thwarted in some way or another. But Suzanne, it was totally out of my control. What happened was….. Every damn time.
I’m about to challenge that in a big way. I’m going to preface with that I am the QUEEN of this and work on it daily and as you can see it does work.
Any of these sound familiar?
:: You’re working on your big project and you find yourself in Canva or social media HOURS later with nothing accomplished.
:: You end up completely exhausted from the launch and you can’t finish.
:: You get sick right before you’re supposed to have that new program ready.
:: You make zero sales on that awesome program and in the back of your mind you know you didn’t give it your all. Aunt Sally was right….you weren’t meant to be successful.
As humans we can legit create all of these things with the energy and thoughts we put out there.
Did you create a schedule that you knew you would never stick to? Did you subconsciously flop that program because of the lack of belief from Aunt Sally which in turn tanked your own faith in yourself? Were you worries so much about something coming up that you got sick? Did you go into the black hole of Canva knowing you had tasks to accomplish (let’s face it…we all know you never get out)?
Open your beautiful mind to the possibility that this might be the issue. I know it’s hard to digest especially if you haven’t dived into the Law of Attraction but open you mind to it and be more aware when these situations happen and see if that might be the problem.
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