Suzanne Proksa:
Welcome to The Suzanne Show with me, Suzanne Proxa, HR and business strategist, former featured Etsy seller, plant addict, concert lover, gardener, landscaper in training, and human straight up obsessed with helping others and cheering on women. Here, we talk a little business, personal development, women's health, and a whole lot about things that matter, help people, and give them joy. Grab your coffee or your wine. Break out one of your hundreds of notebooks, light that soy candle, and let's dive in. Good morning. Good afternoon, or good evening, whatever it is where you're listening today. I am really excited to talk with Myda pot about how women can thrive in male dominated workspaces. So little bit about my from wall street to career strategist and executive coach.
Suzanne Proksa:
After more than 16 years in the financial industry in Paris, London, and New York City, and a life happens event. My Puck left investment banking to become an international career coach, focusing on helping executives find more zen, fulfillment, and purpose in their lives and careers. As your typical overachiever. Myda holds multiple certifications and accreditations. I might be able to relate to this. Speaks 4 languages, having spent part of her childhood in Syria, then in France. She now resides in New York city and is joining us today to bless us with her time. Myda, Is there anything that you would love to add to that introduction?
Mayda Poc:
Hi, Susan, and thank you, for the introduction. Addiction. It is absolutely all encompassing what, is really making my soul sing. And The passion that I have in my life is to help women thrive in the workplace. So the introduction is perfect, and I'm looking forward to dive a bit deeper as well, in our conversation.
Suzanne Proksa:
All right, Mina, let's dive in. We've got a lot to cover. I have some questions for you. So in your experience, Why do you believe that women are often not reaching their highest potential in the workplace? And what are some of the common barriers or challenges they face that might hold them back.
Mayda Poc:
Absolutely. There are 2 different, I'm going to say challenges that women face in the workplace. The first one is the fact, and it's completely journalism as the fact that the workplace is not made for women and has been built over centuries for males because that was the usual gender divide. And, obviously, the way the workplace has been set up with very regular and very structured schedule is a very masculine way of operating in life. And this, unfortunately, does not necessarily always work for women, simply because we're very cyclical beings. We're not always talking about the obvious, which is our physiology, but also as a way we function it mentally and emotionally. So it requires from us to, first of all, adapt to a schedule that is not necessarily it in line or in sync with our biology. So that can sometimes as well take our energy down and take our motivation down.
Mayda Poc:
The second thing is more internal to us and the way we have been educated, but also the way we show up in the workplace. For many of us, we have been educated to be as a good student. That's why women are so good in academia or in academics because we have been told for a very long time, you work hard, you show up, you take the exam, and you will ace it. And it works very well throughout the years and university and colleges, what have you. Unfortunately, this works for a bit in the workplace at a junior level. But as soon as women start wanting to climb the ladder, This obstacle is going to come up because they still stay in that kind of spreadsheet mentality and the analyst mentality and the performer mentality, but don't understand that they also need to ask for what they want and to do something about it, which is for most places is to play the office game. So I hear you. The office came and let's go and take a shower.
Mayda Poc:
I understand it's not the most pleasant thing, but actually hear me out. I want you to see that it's not about, you know, doing things that are out of integrity, quite the opposite. It's about learning how to show up for yourself and how to sell yourself with integrity because your aim is bigger than where you are right now. So this is something that you owe yourself is to start advertising in a way of promoting yourself internally and externally all the time. It's also understanding what boundaries are. It's also understanding where sometimes we go into people pleasing because we don't want to be in conflict. And so we shy away from these big discussions. It makes us very uncomfortable.
Mayda Poc:
So again, it's not about becoming a man and honor her to be provoked it. But to use that feminine energy, that feminine softness, but also this ability to make decisions that are in collaboration with others. And again, we have to be decisive. These are the elements that one way would make, sorry, women succeed in the workplace.
Suzanne Proksa:
Okay. So, Maeda, it's 2023. We all know this. Why are we still talking about women's place of the office.
Mayda Poc:
Because as far as I can observe, Rysselaer Berriette. And yes, you will have women who will be promoted and you will have women who will become CEOs and prime ministers and presidents and a lot of different things. But that's not the point. It's part of the point, but it's not my point. My point is to show women is that their careers is also important for them. And that's the choice they make, obviously. It. Their career can also be a priority, and it shouldn't be, if that's what they long for, only a paycheck.
Mayda Poc:
So in 2023, many women are still faced with this choice. Do I choose my family or do I choose my career? Obviously, if you choose your family, there is something missing. And if you choose your career, you're going to go deal. So the idea today is to find a system or a strategy for women so that say, Yeah. There will always have to choose anyways. There will always be 1 priority above the other. We only have 24 hours a day that is not negotiable. But at the same time, to find places where women can still achieve, can still feel proud of, themselves can still feel that sense of mission in themselves.
Mayda Poc:
And, again, sense of mission can be parenthood, and it's and it's great. It's actually probably the highest, mission that we can hold as a human. But if you choose it to be in the workplace. And if you if your career you're at that time where a career is a priority, then we need to talk about what is holding you back. We need to talk about the obstacles. And the obstacles, as I mentioned earlier, they are indeed external obstacles. But some of them are also the way we behave or the way we think we want to show up or the way we think we don't want to show up. And in reality, it's about finding a balance.
Mayda Poc:
It's an important word, between what we want it, and how we want to get it. And what are the limits that we we are putting upon ourselves that are preventing us from getting there?
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you for that. So you used to work in finance. So what was your experience working as a woman in finance? And how do you feel that that's different now? Or or is it?
Mayda Poc:
It is different. Right? Because there were women in finance. When, I started my career in finance. I was in Paris on a trading floor, so it's like 99% men. It was a very locker room type of atmosphere. I'm I'm fat foot tall. I'm I'm pretty petite. I can't understand.
Mayda Poc:
Wait. It was at the beginning, to be extremely honest, I didn't give a stuff about being the the women, you know, of Azara just showed up, did my job. And very quickly, I just respect it. And that was the case actually for Every job I held in finance, I was mostly only women in these teams, and it never really made any difference For me, it never stopped me from asking for what I want from you know, sometimes also being pissed and going into anger. I've I've always found my way there, but it was obvious to me that I was how can I say that? I had maybe a different way of communicating with guys than many of the younger women that were coming to me. I was not shy. I was shy, but not shy to say, you know, back off. You're annoying me.
Mayda Poc:
That is not the case for a lot of women. So and and it was also, I have to add, difficult to put up with certain of the comments. I recall quite vividly that there were some comments that I have from pretty senior eval about how women, should not be in in investment banking and should not be meeting clients because, you know, the clients are guys too. And, you know, that ton of niceties. Right? Like TikTok TikTok, the clock is ticking. I had a lot of that at some point. And, you know, just ignored it or told the person to go and, you know, not a nice word, but you see what not everybody had that. And for many women, they were coming into the investment banking space with the ideas that they were there because they like finance, because they have the skills and the ability to perform.
Mayda Poc:
And sometimes they were stopped. So that was then. I think today and and moving notably for me into the US, there was an awareness of a certain number of behaviors that you cannot have around women. Believe it or not, that was not the case when I was in France or in in London. Absolutely not. So there is this progress that was made as in, you know, not everything is fun. That's everything is permissible because, no, it's not okay to make women feel uncomfortable because that's a guide thing. It's not.
Mayda Poc:
The change comes from the fact that there are more and more women in investment banking. The the percentage has grown exponentially because there is this space for them, whereas they can still perform. They can still be professional without having to leave because at some point, the the doors are closed. So it and it's a very long to a home answer. But I think that the mentalities have changed. The generations have changed. And think a lot of the the deal makers in a way or the management in these big banks have learned that we all need to work together and continuing a a brat type of locker room mentality is very masculine and not not in a good way. It's not for the highest good of anyone.
Mayda Poc:
So things have changed in in banking. Seeing things have changed. And a lot of these very heavy masculine places in terms of the awareness, that no. It's not fun to make a joke. Yeah. Yeah. One of those jokes in in front of of a women. It's not fun and it's not fun either to kind of go and bully, another person.
Mayda Poc:
So these are the kind of things that have changed as well.
Suzanne Proksa:
Maeda, you emphasize the importance of women maintaining their femininity and identity while seating in male dominated industries. Could you share some strategies or insights on how women can strike a balance between being themselves and thriving in these environments. I'm just really curious about this one.
Mayda Poc:
Those are the first of all, Ladies, wear feminine hypnosis, and that is the French in me. I have to tell you is that the dress code and frost was, you know, professional. But I was Talked when I went to London and then to the US of how many women were wearing suits, but males. Thankfully, things have dramatically changed and it's for the best and the better. But really, You know, there there is the appropriateness, obviously. I would definitely stay extremely professional, extremely within what the corporate dress code in a way is because you you want also for people to see that you are management material and that you're good to put in front of a client. I mean, all of these kind of things, I'm sure you you already know. But mostly, I would like for you not to shy away wrong, wearing jewelry from, you know, having makeup, whatever.
Mayda Poc:
And it's not an obligation. It's whatever make you feel fun and nice and feminine and make you feel good about yourself. So that's number 1. And, of course, it's all about the environment. You need to adapt to the environment because if you want to be promoted, they need to see that you are promotable. And the way you talk and walk and and, you know, dress up is part of it. But the 2nd part as well is for you to find a strategy that works for you. As I mentioned earlier, women's energy is very fluctuating.
Mayda Poc:
So we have men's too, but women in particular. And there will be times where, you know, we feel so depleted because there was a lot of conflicts and arguing or, oh, very heavy load and in a very big deadline. And once it's maybe you're still in the middle of it or you just finished, but I want you to find a way where You can honor that energy, that fluctuating energy. And it's not about just stopping. You know, everything's like, oh, sorry. I have my period. I have to go unless really you're safe. But from from most times is to respect that time, to take things a bit easier, to be better at prioritizing things, you know, is it usual? Is it urgent, important, and what have you.
Mayda Poc:
The other part is, again, not everybody has this. Some women have it, but not everybody has this very warrior warrior energy, masculine energies. Some women do have it. And if you have it, then use it wisely. Use your anger wisely. But for for some others, sometimes it's not less of the time. Sometimes you're a bit more into the peaceful warrior. Honor that.
Mayda Poc:
Don't Don't don't allow other people to push you into places where you don't belong, where you don't want to go. So honoring the feminine at the workplace is also understanding that the feminine is about expansion. The feminine is about connection. In the feminine is about friendships. Not everything is a war, not everything is a fight and doesn't need to be. So find ways where you can have allies, you can have mentors, people you can confine into. But again, remember, not everybody in the workplace has, your interest to the highest. But at the same time, find friendships that as well can work for you.
Mayda Poc:
In the workplace and outside the workplace, seek collaboration, but keep an eye on your prize. So I'm going back to what I was saying before this people pleasers. It's all about the team. This is what does not work for women. This is the limitation we put ourselves after we sank the whole team. Remember to put yourself out there as well.
Suzanne Proksa:
Very interesting. As a coach, you work with clients to help them succeed in their careers. Could you provide some specific tips and tools that you find particularly effective in supporting women as they navigate their professional journeys in male dominated fields.
Mayda Poc:
Absolutely. But first, I would like for you to understand what your goals are. So let's go into that division, masculine. I mean, and the masculine that we will have inside of us, the structured, person that we are. Thrives and having goals and and it's not rigid again, we're we're we keep it light, we keep it adapting, we keep it flexible. But I would like for you to understand what do you want from that job. And for some people, they want to be promoted. For some people, they want to leave the job.
Mayda Poc:
For some people. It's it's totally another career. So I would like for you to keep his ads in mind and to have a plan. And you can, you know, write down your SMART goals or you can work with a coach, whatever works for you. But make chores that you have a plan and you have also a system to prioritize your goals and to con reconcile them as well with your deliverables and see how you can learn new skills. So I'm going to say is that all of this is that's step 1. All of this, if I were to summarize this is know what's in it for you. And keep, it, in your mind that it's about you first.
Mayda Poc:
So it's not about being selfish. It's not about being, you know, whatever. Self centered is about understanding what you want out of that job, how it gels with your sense of purpose, with your sense of mission, and what you are giving and what you are receiving. And this is really, really very important for me. So be on point from that point of view and know what you want, not what other people want, not where your parents, your house, your children, whatever. No. It's about you and you first. And this is one of the biggest difference as well between men and women is that quite often it.
Mayda Poc:
Men know exactly what their steps are or where do they want to go to the next step or they have several options in mind. Women tend to because we do a lot of different things at the same time to go all over the place, and then we forget. That's my step number 2, our priorities. So make sure you know your priorities and then find ways and through self awareness, to understand where your behaviors are and what are those behaviors that are are stopping you. What are your self limitations? We have a lot of them. Some of them are, I don't have time. My boss doesn't like me. My boss prefers something somebody else.
Mayda Poc:
I don't know who's to speak to. I'm lost. I'm stuck. There are a lot of ways to get you out of that. But first, you need to understand where is the hiccup? Where's the bottleneck? And then find help. It, to do it, like, overachievers and actions to them. We tend to want to do everything on our own because there is this spread, like, I'm I'm I'm not, I'm not a quitter. I I know I can do it.
Mayda Poc:
I want to do it on my own first. Great. Do your research, but also ask for help. And it could be finding a mentor or yourself mentoring other people. You will you will realize that you actually learn a lot from mentoring other people. And so be in that space where there is an equal giving and receiving in the workplace. And finally, you know, a a word of of advice. Everything that you do should be PR for yourself.
Mayda Poc:
Every word that every email, every sentence is a PR for yourself. So I understand it looks very selfish and, you know, you're for junior who are working to midnight. Guess what? You did it. I guess what? It's not you're not making them work to midnight because you did it. You're making work to midnight because unfortunately, the job has to be done. But it doesn't mean that you need to do that job instead of them. So anything that could be seen, any perception on the outside that could be seen as a step back It's going to be perceived that way. So I would like for you to go into this mindset as how do I want to show up? What do I want my legacy to be? What do I What do I want to be known for? And the more you go into that, and again, going back to the junior example earlier, You could be something as simple as mentoring your juniors so that you supervise them, you're still their boss, but you show them a way to do it more quickly.
Mayda Poc:
You don't micromanage, but they know you're there for for them, and they wanna respect you for that. It. So find all of these little ways, almost like self sabotaging ways where we feel we're going to be judged because we're a personalized person or way too tough or whatever, where you find peace with it or you find strategies that work for you and they're going to be very individual most of the time. But at the end of the day, I want if there is one takeaway from this This question is everything is PR. What are you PR ing yourself for? What do you want to be known for? How do you want your reputation to be the day you decide, for example, to leave that team or that job or that company.
Suzanne Proksa:
So helpful. I think that there are so many male dominated fields out there that, you know, it is just such a tricky balance and trying to figure all of this out and navigate. So thank you so much. So next question, it's often said that confidence is a key factor in career success. How do you help women build and maintain confidence in competitive workplaces? Are there any practical exercises or mindset shifts you recommend. Anything else?
Mayda Poc:
Oh, absolutely. So first Assigned to address is impostor syndrome. So I have to tell you, everybody has impostor syndrome. Even big presidents, even anyone who, you know, I feel super confident they have that little voice unless they're a really psychopath. But most people have that little voice inside of them. And it's a healthy voice actually because if you do if you listen to it the right way, it's a voice of, am I making the right decision? Am I having this right? What else is missing? So, you know, listen to your to your impostor syndrome with discerning discernment. Sometimes it's it's a voice of, you know, I don't think I I did this presentation. Right? Let me take another look at it.
Mayda Poc:
And then you decide what you're good enough is. And sometimes, it. It's not a voice of fear. Right? It's a voice of avoid avoidance. I'm so scared of taking that new job that I'm going to find a way to self sabotage myself. And this is where I need you to stop doing this and sees that, yes, you have been working for x amount of years. You have been doing a lot of work. You have accumulated a lot of skills.
Mayda Poc:
So self confidence is starts with an inventory of all the things that you have done, all your achievements. And, of course, there are mistakes, but you learn from these mistakes. So start first by taking an observer look from the outside in into how would you see yourself if you were someone on the outside in. And look at your life right now, and I bet you that you will see that people will have a lot of admiration for you. And I would like for you to take in and feel that admiration. Because quite often when we are in the middle of it, we don't see it anymore. So Definitely takes the time to understand that you have done pretty well so far in your life. The 2nd part is how do you take feedback? Quite often, you have it, unsolicited feedback.
Mayda Poc:
Just put it out there that you didn't ask for, and it it comes and it's at the worst time and you feel like you want tells a person, you know, something an unsavory or whatever. And and sometimes it is It's warranted, but we're still in the workplace and we're still thinking in my head about promoting you and about showing people. Again, remember everything is PR is, showing people that you have what it takes to go to that next level. And so when it comes to feedback, ticket for what it is. It is what it is. A reflection of someone on the outside telling you this is how I would have done it, hopefully. Not everybody gives you a solution, but hopefully. You have think it does free advice.
Mayda Poc:
You can take it. You can ditch it. Who cares? It's your decision. It's your sovereignty. It's your agency. And this takes me to number 3. Number 3 is agency. I know that sometimes you have the impression that you don't have choices.
Mayda Poc:
But I would like for you to examine The fact that actually you have more choices than you think. You are making a choice to maybe stay because of ex piously, but that's a choice you are making is not an absence of choice. And work around what other choices you have. So confidence in the workplace is to be That's maybe one of the the times where I've tell you to be a bit more masculine is understand that, yes, we all have some doubts and we all feel that we we don't like to mess up. Nobody does, and we're all scared of of making mistake. But you have done so much in your life. You have so many skills. Not only work skills, look at what you do and what you did throughout your life outside, but you have all of these skills that you are bringing to the table.
Mayda Poc:
Otherwise, surprise, surprise. You wouldn't be paying and you wouldn't be working in that company. It. No no no place is a charity place. So you have all that it takes for that. And then the 3rd Part is that yeah. Sometimes you feel that you you don't have a choice, but actually you do. And if you are still stuck, Find allies within the company.
Mayda Poc:
Have a mentor. Someone you can just go and run an idea with and maybe a sounding board person, or maybe again, we're we're going to go back to that, a friend, a coach, a spouse. Sometimes what it takes is to have someone reflect that back to you for you to see it. It's it's unfortunate, but at the same time, it's a very healthy way of doing. Otherwise, we are all living in a cocoon thinking either that we are the best thing that ever happened on Earth, and it's a very pleasant human to be around, or quite the opposite that we are so terrible and wonder why people like us. And this is not serving your soul, your mind, and your body either.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you so much. Confidence is One of the things that my audience is always craving more information on, so this will be super helpful. Diversity and inclusion have become really important topics in today's workplace. What role can women play in promoting diversity. And what advice do you have for women who want to make a positive impact on their organizations and industries while advancing their own careers.
Mayda Poc:
Absolutely. Women, for me, if I have one word for that will be bridge. I think women in the workplace are the perfect bridge to so many different things, including diversity and inclusion. And I think this is something that we have in ourselves almost naturally. This is how we show up as well as the minute. Again, I'm not saying men don't have it, and it's absolutely not the case. But I think that women, we like consensus. We like collaboration.
Mayda Poc:
We have this kind of friendship skill, easy friendship skill, within us. So diversity and inclusion is also part of making that bridge and making other people understand that it's about including everyone. So it's not about excluding people. Whatever they are, it's about including any everyone. Women have empathy and women have compassion. And I think as well that at some point, you get to a level where it's not about becoming an advocate if that doesn't work for you. For some people, it doesn't work. Some people have that sense of mission, advocacy, and it's part, I would say, of of your archetype at work and it can work very well for you for your promotion.
Mayda Poc:
So definitely see if that's what you have with the news that people don't have that or sometimes don't don't even think that they have that. So I would definitely find ways where you are promoting the sense of collaboration, the sense of inclusion in what you do. One way to do is I was I mentioned a lot mentorship. I mentioned a lot internal connections or outside connections. Sometimes we see these things as being very transactional. In reality, especially for women, they may not be that transactional. There's a personal element for it. So I would definitely encourage women to mentor others, to praise others as well.
Mayda Poc:
And to be the example that Yeah. Not to put any pressure. Right? Just to be the examples of how we would like things to be. And I have that saying that where I tell my client, give others, what you want to receive. I think we have been in in places where there was a lot of conflict. There is almost like disregard to to the human connection. I would like for you to be the person who puts the human back into the workplace to to prioritize as well connections. Of course, there's a job.
Mayda Poc:
Of course, there will be issues. Of course, there will be people who have a very fixed mindset, who are stuck into how they think things should be. You may change them. You may not. It's very difficult to change people when they don't want to, but you can be batching. And you can be that bridge again that is like, you know, I'm going to mentor all these new kids coming out of out of college or I'm going you know, I have one of my Latina clients has been working in the Latina, a funny group in in the bank. And we did a lot of work together on how to continue to have her advance in the bank while still promoting that side of hers. That is very important because she is part that's part of who she is.
Mayda Poc:
So there are ways to do that. I would definitely invite women to be in their feminism, which I talk a lot about, which is in the collaboration which is an understanding the different points of points of view, and to find ways to work with a lot of other people while they see this as, again, a way of building connections and building work friendships in the workplace as well. It will make your life and everybody's life much more interesting and enjoyable. And it'll also cement in in you the sense of mission or the sense of purpose of how we make impact in the workplace.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you so much for all of this information, Myna. This can be so helpful for so many people. And At this point of the interview, I know people are probably wanting to learn more from you and how they can work with you. Can you give us a rundown on where they can find all things? And then also can you give us just your top 3, top 2 or 3 things that you really want women to take away from this episode.
Mayda Poc:
Absolutely. So you can find me on social media, mainly LinkedIn and Instagram, Myda Park. You can find me on my website, myda at myda coaching.com. You can email me at myda at myda coaching.com. As to my 2, 3 top takeaways, I will start by number 1 is You always have more agency than you think. So I would like to, hammer the HUD in a way and make sure you understand that Even if you're stuck, there are ways around that. Number 2 is self confidence is an internal job. And self confidence will come with time, will come as well as you do this internal and external work, on yourself, on your values, on how you can stay aligned and still pursue the job, or still pursue whatever priority you're pursuing within integrity, I e, aligned with your values and aligned with who and what you want to be.
Mayda Poc:
And my top number 3, and it could be top number 1 as well, is everything is PR. Whenever you are in the workplace, everything is PR. So make sure you present yourself as to how you want to be seen as how do I want a a sort of legacy in a way. How do I want people to remember me the day I leave the job? It. Because at the end of the day, whether you're a man or woman, your reputation is what's going to proceed you and follow you anywhere you go. And for me, it's about showing up your most authentic self, being professional, and showing yourself that you can do it and excel in everything that you do.
Suzanne Proksa:
Maya, thank you so much for all of the information that you have gifted us today. I am sure that this has been super helpful for my audience. And I hope I I truly hope that this has boosted the confidence of some of the women out there that listen to the show. I hope that they share it, share it with friends because I think this is just so incredibly important and it is still something that we have to work through every single day. You know? I I live it myself. So so, so important. Thank you again for sharing, sharing your gifts. I look forward to seeing you online and wish you the absolute best.
Mayda Poc:
Thank you, Susan. It was really a pleasure. It was a pleasure meeting you and a pleasure showing up for your show. Thank you for doing the the work as well, and we're contributing to make the work, in better the work and the world a better place for all of us. So thank you for having me.
Suzanne Proksa:
I hope that you loved this episode. If you did, give me those shout outs. Show me some love on Itunes. Give me a rating. And, hey, if you wanna know where to find me, you can find me on pretty much all social media At suzanneproxa. That's suzanneproxa. And You can also head over to my website, suzanneprosa.com. Until then, I'll see you in the next episode
Mayda Poc:
hear this.
Suzanne Proksa:
Party music for you.
