Suzanne Proksa:
Welcome to the Suzanne show. With me, Suzanne Proxa h r and business strategist, former featured etsy seller, plant addict, concert lover, gardener, landscaper in training, and humans straight up obsessed with helping others and cheering on women. Here we talk a little business, personal development, women's health, and a whole lot about things that matter. Help people and give them joy. Grab your coffee or your wine. Break out one of your hundreds of notebooks, light that soy candle, and let's dive in. Welcome back, friends. Today we are going to talk about how to get things going the right way following disappointment. So this is going to be a great conversation. I am here today with Jenna B. She is a wife, mother, and spiritual intuitive who has worn many hats in life on her journey to find purpose outside the home. It's Jenna's mission to help heal and spread love to others, and she's committed to sharing her message of love and healing with as many people as possible. Jenna, welcome to the show. Do you have anything else that you would like to add to that introduction?
Jenna Brocious:
That was such a beautiful introduction. Thank you so much. No, I'm an open book, so I'm excited to have a conversation.
Suzanne Proksa:
Let's start by talking about what happens to us as humans when an outcome of something isn't what we had hoped for. What kind of goes through our brain, what happens in our body, all of that good stuff.
Jenna Brocious:
I don't think having high expectations is a bad thing. I think having realistic expectations is probably a smarter place to live in, just so there's less disappointment. And I think that disappointment is always hurtful, even if we expected it or we didn't expect it. I, at this point in time with my mother, have very low expectations for our relationship, but I know that she's doing the best she can. So at the end of the day, I just have to accept what that is once told me to. I can't hold somebody to an expectation they didn't agree to. And I think that that's such a beautiful place to live from, because it really did set me up for more success moving forward once I started to realize that not everybody does the things that I do or the way that I do it. And I think that that's also okay, that we're not all going to be perfect and in sync, but I think it's important to remember that we're all doing our best at the end of the day and just to have grace for everybody, everybody needs a little bit of grace.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you for that rundown. I think that's going to be helpful for people as we talk this through. So what are some steps to detach from those outcomes?
Jenna Brocious:
Steps in ways to detach from those outcomes. I think, like I said before, not holding people to expectations they have not agreed to is a major, major one for me. But I also just think creating good boundaries is always a super smart way to detach from the hurt or to let go of the hurt or to move forward is to realize that it's okay to have a safe boundary and it's also okay to say no to something. So I just think it's smart to be safe with your own feelings and to be strong in what makes you feel good or what doesn't make you feel good. Excellent.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you. Why does mastering this mentality allow for things to flow the way that they should?
Jenna Brocious:
Once I was able to master the understanding of not holding people to that expectation that I had had within myself, I really was able to find peace and forgiveness. And it actually makes me want to cry just thinking about it. But I think it's so important for us to be able to find that freedom within ourselves because that's when we truly can learn to love ourselves more and grow and expand is so important. So I think just being able to master that, we are all human, we are all trying to do our best and having greater understanding. I think once I realized my mom's childhood, I was able to understand her a little bit better and have a little bit more compassion, which I just think is so important for us all to have compassion for each other. So at the end of the day, it gave me peace and forgiveness. And I think that's the greatest thing.
Suzanne Proksa:
A common thing for my audience can be when a launch doesn't go as expected. Can you apply this process to that? What would that look like if somebody were to apply this process in that situation?
Jenna Brocious:
Well, have I been there or what? I have launched actually quite a few businesses before I landed on where I am now, and none of them really worked out the way I had expected, which is always super disappointing. But I think in the process of also learning to not hold high expectations on things, I learned that everything is always working in my favor. And I don't know why I get teary eyed again about that, but I truly believe that everything's working in my favor. So when things didn't go the way I had hoped, I had to sit back and I had to go, okay, there's a greater plan here. God's got a bigger, better plan for me. So I just have to go with the flow a little bit. Sometimes when we go with the flow, we allow a little bit more positive energy to come in, which then can just shift everything. But one of the biggest things that I mastered after not holding people to an expectation was truly everything is working in my favor, even when it doesn't feel like it is. And I think that that has been the biggest thing that's helped me move forward and project the place that I'm in now is when I would get frustrated because something wasn't going my way. I would just sit back and go, okay, maybe something bigger and better is going to come my way out of the situation instead. So I just have to have faith and trust and believe that it's going to work out. And you know what? I had a couple of businesses fail and they weren't for me because look at where I'm at now. I get to be creative and I get to shed light on positivity and how to move through life with grace and ease and fun and not be so serious. So I do think that all those failures do add up to something greater in the end. It's just sometimes pushing through those failures is where we have our growth.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you for humoring me on that question. Let's try another situation which can apply to another segment of my audience. As women, sometimes it's a challenge to get the pay or the job that we know we deserve. And so there's disappointments that come with that. How do we come to peace by using this process? What does it look like in that situation?
Jenna Brocious:
I think that disappointment will happen at certain times in our life, and I think that it's okay to be disappointed. But if you were to think that life is continuously a disappointment or you're having things not go your way and it kind of just sounds a little bit of a victimhood situation here. So I always choose to not live in the negative. I choose to live in the positive. So if you don't get that raise that you've really been trying for, maybe that's not the place for you anymore because they don't see the value that you add. So I would always say to choose to let's look at the light or the fun or the positive side about it, instead of choosing to be like, woes me, why didn't I get that? Maybe it's just not the place for you. And maybe if we choose to take those big risks, I always believe that God will take care of you and that you will get a big reward at the end of the day. So if we can just change those moments of disappointment, which are fine to have and transition our energy into maybe a bigger, better place for us to go, I think that is where I choose to direct people to think, all.
Suzanne Proksa:
Right, let's change things up just a smidge. What is positive thinking to you? And how can someone practice it when perhaps it's just not in their DNA?
Jenna Brocious:
Well, I think positive thinking is such an important factor in life. And as a kid, I was actually called Negative Nancy, which is so funny to me now because all I do is talk about positivity. But I just think it's important before we put our feet on the ground, we open our eyes every morning that we say, today is going to be a great day. And I really want you to do that before you put your feet on the ground because I want you to start training your brain to thinking, today is going to be a great day. But if we wake up and we go, oh, today is going to be a shitty day, I have to do A, B and C. Well, you just told the universe what you wanted right there. So I really try to talk to people and my clients about how to just switch from these very small steps of just saying, today is going to be a great day, and maybe even when you get thrown off and flustered and again, it's not going the way you had hoped. We just need to take a deep breath and we need to say, everything's working in my favor. Today is going to be a great day and move forward. But I do really think it is a generational thing. I know my grandparents weren't very positive. My mom was not very positive. And so I'm hoping that I can teach my son something cool and new and that life is for us, not against us, and let's make it the best that we possibly can.
Suzanne Proksa:
All right, Jenna. Thank you. You talk about getting things going the way you want it. What does that look like?
Jenna Brocious:
I love this question, and I actually have a great story for this one. I love to host, and Easter is one of my favorite holidays, so I had friends and family coming over for fun Easter brunch, and I had a couple call me the day before and she said, oh, please start without us, we're going to be late. We're going to go do something before. And we hung up the phone, and normally I would have lost my cookies and freaked out on my husband and whoever was around me that had to hear me about how everybody should be on time to my house. And I really go out of my way to make it a really beautiful experience for everybody. I hung up the phone and I said, I'm going to let this one go and it's going to work in my favor. I don't know how it's going to work in my favor, but it's going to be okay. And it was so funny. She called me the next morning, the day of Easter, and she goes, well, we decided not to do what we were going to do, so we'll be to your house on time. And I was just like, oh, everything really is working in my favor. And so it was a good reminder for me that when I don't spew this negativity, when things don't go my way and I don't freak out and I just kind of take a breath and we talk in my house a lot about being cool, calm and collected. And I was it worked in my favor. And so it's been an ongoing journey for me to learn, but I think it's just a beautiful story of like, take it easy, take a breath, let it go. And if it's meant to be, it will be. And life is forest again, not against us. We are here to thrive, not survive.
Suzanne Proksa:
Fantastic. Thank you. That is great. Are there any tools or tricks that you would encourage people to try? This is typically the point in the show where I ask my guests to give people some takeaways and maybe those tools and tricks can be those takeaways.
Jenna Brocious:
I might be sounding slightly repetitive at this point in the podcast and I'm sorry for that, but it really is when we're able to just take a breath and give ourselves that moment and stay cool, calm and collected in maybe those really frustrating situations and change our response from what it would normally be. I think that's a good starting point. But again, like I will say over and over, I'm so sorry, but everything really is working in our favor. And when we start to change our mindset and our perspective on that, you will be surprised how things truly do turn around.
Suzanne Proksa:
Jenna, thank you so much for being here on the last question, and that is, how can people reach out to you? How can they find you? And then I also just want to thank you so much for being on the episode and I'm sure that this was super helpful to a lot of people. I look forward to seeing you around and wish you an absolute fantastic rest of the day.
Jenna Brocious:
You can find me on instagram as Gene B spiritual. My website. Is Genebe spiritual as well? I sell positive intention prayer cards on Etsy and you can find me at Genebee Spiritual as well. There, I got lucky. All three ways across the board are the same. Thank you for having me. I love talking about this kind of stuff. It is something that I have truly worked on for years, overcoming a wild childhood. So I appreciate you letting me share my wisdom.
Suzanne Proksa:
I hope that you loved this episode. If you did, give me those shout outs, show me some love on itunes, give me a rating. And hey, if you want to know where to find me, you can find me on pretty much all social media at Suzanneproksa. That's Suzanneproksa. And you can also head over to my website, Suzanneproksa.com.
Jenna Brocious:
Until then, I'll see you in the next episode. And here is parte music for.
