Suzanne Proksa:
Welcome to the Suzanne show with me, Suzanne Proksa, HR and business strategist, former featured Etsy seller, plant addict, concert lover, gardener, landscaper in training, and human straight up obsessed with helping others and cheering on women. Here, we talk a little business, personal development, women's health, and a whole lot about things that matter, help people, and give them joy. Grab your coffee or your wine, Break out one of your hundreds of notebooks. Light that soy candle, and let's dive in. Hello there, Suzanne show fans. This is Suzanne, your fearless leader. All right. Maybe not completely fearless, but today we are talking about is your fear of being seen, sabotaging your success with Nora.
Suzanne Proksa:
Luke Nora is the founder of corporate to calling LLC and Nora Luke coaching. She's a business and marketing coach, proud corporate dropout mother of 2 and an awesome wife. She's got quite a history full of great experience I'm going to let her tell you about. So I'm gonna turn it over to you, Nora, so that you can kind of finish off that intro and talk to people about who you are and how you how you got here.
Nora Luke:
Hi, Suzanne. Thank you for the introduction. I'm excited to be here. I hope you and your listeners can appreciate me calling myself an awesome wife. I figure, heck, us ladies need to call ourselves awesome from time to time. So why not in my bio? But who I am, yes, I am all those things you described. And I am a business and marketing coach specializing in online events. I help coaches and all in entrepreneurs create unique master classes and unique events that work for their personality so they could convert.
Nora Luke:
How I got here. I spent over 15 years in healthcare. I left right before the pandemic, actually March of 2020, not knowing what was getting ready to happen. So there was a little bit of crazy times during the COVID era and during the fact that I left such an important role at a really critical time in our society. But I did leave the frustrations of corporate. I wanted to pursue my entrepreneurial desires. I've always had the desire to be an entrepreneur. I didn't know in what capacity, but I wanted do something.
Nora Luke:
And I got to a point in my life where everything just felt rushed and honestly slightly miserable, even though I had an impactful job. So I decided to take a leap and build corporate to calling.
Suzanne Proksa:
And here I am today. Thank you for sprucing up that intro for me. I always say my guests do a way better job. So thank you, Nora. So, Nora, you know, the big topic, and it's even in the title, right, of the episode, the big topic to start here really is fear. I know I spend a lot of time myself teaching women to overcome their fears so that they can actually get out there and get visible so they can live those big dreams or whatever it is. Right? I mean, fear can keep us from doing day to day things. It doesn't necessarily just have to be visibility and business related things.
Suzanne Proksa:
And why do you think fear is such a big issue?
Nora Luke:
Yes, you're so right. Fear can show up in all areas of life, not just business. I think in particular, fear is a big issue because it's something we've been almost taught in a way at various points in our life. We've been told to, you know, be safe and maybe not in these words, but kind of play small, not to take risks. You know, the consequences if you, if you make a mistake or if you fail. So we're scared and nervous and fearful to be visible or do something new for the first time. Even if it's not related to business and fear is very different for all of us. Some of us are fearful to speak on a stage.
Nora Luke:
Some of us fear going to, you know, the grocery store alone or doing something by ourselves. It's it. And I really do think a lot of it stems from being taught and told throughout our life that, you know, taking that risk and, and doing something could bring a negative result. So we create this fear and we keep ourselves from taking new actions and doing things because of the fear we've been taught.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you so much for that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What are the reasons that you see come up most often that make people fearful of getting out there?
Nora Luke:
The reason I see that comes up for a lot of people for being fearful of not, you know, getting out there, as you said, or showing up, I think the number one thing is judgment. Now how they fear the judgment or where that judgment's coming from might vary, but people are nervous of being judged by, you know, their neighbors, their parents, their siblings, their spouse, their children, their colleagues. I mean, anybody and everybody, especially with social media and everything being extremely public nowadays. I also see the corporate conditioning that many women have experienced as far as they've been in the workplace. They've had a career and they've been told to basically, you know, do their job, say in their box, Even if the company says they want big ideas, a lot of times, we wouldn't find themselves wanting to share the big idea, and then it gets turned down because it doesn't quite fit what's, the corporate really wanted. And I also think, like, the fear of the reason that that fear shows up is we're nervous that if it fails the first time or I should say, doesn't meet our expectations of what success should be then, oh, it's over. I failed. I can never do it again.
Nora Luke:
And that's it. I tried, which is so not true. But it's kinda goes back to your earlier question. It becomes something we were taught from very, very young that failing is not part of life and that should be avoided when failing is what we really want to do. And it's so hard for you to say those words because I was not taught that. And I work with people as soon as I, I ask them like, okay, what are we going to fail at today? Cause if we don't fail at something means we're not trying something new and taking some new actions and it gets easier the more you do it, but it really does take the action and doing to make it be more comfortable.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on that. Another thing is that, you know, we talk a lot about self sabotage. I mean, we talk about it in business all the time, the day to day. I it's a thing. Right? How would you define that? And I would even take that a step further and say, how would you define that for people who maybe don't even realize that they're doing it?
Nora Luke:
For me to define self sabotage, I look at it as continuously telling yourself that you can't do something and then finding the reasons why you can't. And when you say you're you can't do, or you won't do, or it's not going to work because XYZ, you start to find a lot of those XYZs. And we really look around versus trying to find pieces in your past that have shown this to not be true, that you have done something and that you can do it. A lot of times people don't realize they're doing it, but even just when you're telling yourself that, well, I'm not very good at speaking or my voice doesn't sound very good, or I don't have enough experience. Like that is how you're self sabotaging. It's recognizing when you start to have those negative thoughts and you're, you're speaking really bad to yourself and turn it around. And I've I've really benefited from because I think we've all done it, but I've benefited from thinking, how do I look at my daughter, for example, like I look at her like she is going to conquer the world and she has all this potential and all these things that she can do. And when I tell her that she can't do something now.
Nora Luke:
So I try to like internalize that myself and say, how, how am I going to talk to myself? I need to talk to myself like I would my daughter. You do encourage her that way. And I have a whole lot more experience than my daughter. So we are reminding myself that my experience is valuable and what the things that you've done in the past do add up and they mean something. And it's, it's now a choice for you to realize shutting down those negative self sabotaging thoughts and turning them into positive and taking that action on the current thought of where you want to go versus saying duck and telling yourself you can't.
Suzanne Proksa:
Okay. So this is for our business peeps out there, Nora, what should someone do if they don't like their voice or they don't like seeing themselves on camera, because as you and I know, it's, it's important to, to get yourself out there. And, you know, there's science. Right. You know, seeing your face and stuff like that. It can be really important. So again, what, what should somebody do if they don't like their voice or seeing themselves on camera?
Nora Luke:
Yes. It is so important for people to see your face and hear your words, hear your tone and inflection. People connect with people and you connect faster. And, and I would say you, you, you get their vibe if you can see them and hear them. And from a business standpoint, when you don't like your voice or seeing yourself on camera, Number one thing is remind yourself that you're now making it about you. Your ego is stopping you from getting your message to the person that needs to hear it. And that's gonna benefit benefit from it and that you can help. So reminds you of your, you're, you're in a way being selfish because you're making it about you when, what you're trying to put out there and what you're saying, what people are going to see is not about you.
Nora Luke:
It's about helping them. People are not on the side. No, people are not judging you as harsh as you think they are. And if they are, they're not your people and that's okay. But you know, number 2 is reminding yourself that you are a leader and leaders do show up and leaders don't have to have the look that you think they do, or that image that comes to your mind. As a business owner, you're the leader of your company and that's something to be proud of. So let people see you and hear you. And don't worry about having this look that you think you're supposed to have, cause you've actually made that up yourself.
Nora Luke:
It's not a fact. So that kind of is another segue there, but is that fact or fiction that that's what a leader looks like? And then thirdly, practice, you know, practice seeing yourself, hearing yourself, and you can do that in private to start simply with the, with the cell phone. You can create our, your own private Facebook group and practice. You can, you know, then take the next step and share a screen or a stage with someone else about a fun topic. Something, you know, it's just the, the more you practice, the more you do it. I'm not saying you maybe will never love it, but you'll learn to embrace it. And then you'll start to see how impactful your, your voice and your image is to somebody else. And that's when all of a sudden you're like, it doesn't matter what I look like.
Nora Luke:
And I want, I want to share this as well. I had a client one time who was very nervous about this and, and I challenged her. Well, don't set the expectation that you always have to be quote, done up and perfect before you go on camera. Some days be that way, but other days being your baseball cap or, you know, have your hair in a bun or whatever it is that you do show all components of yourself. Because obviously the people that that resonate with that are gonna be your people.
Suzanne Proksa:
Hey, y'all. Did you know that I offer tip jar specials every month where you can get something cool for tipping the podcast? If you are loving the episode or the podcast in general, head over to tip jar.vip or the podcast page at the suzanshowpodcast.com and check out this month's options. VIPs also get special access to events with my guests. Thank you for letting me cut in, and now let's get back to the episode. Alright. Now we are going to talk my language a little bit here. Y'all know I love to run a summit and some online events. And so I have a a great question for Nora.
Suzanne Proksa:
Nora, help us out here. How do online events allow you to increase your profits easily? Oh, I love the power of online events,
Nora Luke:
the ability to harness your voice and the power that, that, that provides and putting your message out there. Oh, it's so connected to profit in so many ways. So how online events easily increase Proksa. I do want to say the word easily is different for everybody, but there is definitely a connection to an online events and profits. For 1, it does speed up your connection time with your audience. Like I said earlier, people can see you hear you, but more importantly, they hear your conviction. They hear your confidence. They hear your passion and clarity, and it showcases your expertise.
Nora Luke:
When that happens, you don't even realize that you've built and established your personal authority. And that is something that is actually earned. And you earn that from your audience after sharing these convictions and your expertise and showing up and keeping your word. Now you've earned that personal authority. You have it now that you get to take the next step and actually create influence. That's where the profits then happen because when you have the ability to influence others in a positive way, and by your, you know, either your program or your message or whatever is that you do, that's when then your profits start to happen and everything flows so much easier, but that the ability to do it with the leverage or the stage of an online event,
Suzanne Proksa:
it just speeds up that connection with your audience. Excellent. Excellent. Thank you so much. Oh, I love my online events. So let's say someone follows all of this amazing advice that you're giving. They get out there, they're doing the things. How do they make themselves attractive to potential clients or buyers?
Nora Luke:
So if somebody is out there and out there, meaning like showing up consistently, hosting their own online events on a regular basis. That is key because if you're just doing an event once and then maybe a handful of months later, you do one, and then maybe try to do another different one. Like, your online event should follow a strategic sequence where you're offering a variety of topics and different types of master classes or challenges, possibly even there, you know, there's a time and a place for prerecorded webinars, but there's a reason and a flow for your events. So by you just showing up and having those out there for people is how you are attracting and repelling people. And I know a lot of us don't think we ever want to repel somebody, but when it comes to business, it's okay to repel individuals. So you don't necessarily have to make yourself attractive if you're staying true to your expertise and you're providing the helpful information on the topics that people want, and they've been able to follow you and learn how it is that you can either solve their problem or get them to their next step in their journey or whatever it is that they're looking for. But honestly, when you are the power of online events, as you are showing up and you are becoming attractive to somebody it's it. And I think we've all heard this analogy before, but it's kinda like dating, you know, the first time you meet somebody I haven't dated in a long time, so I probably should not be giving dating advice, but you're not necessarily going to, you know, marry right away, but you realize that you like them.
Nora Luke:
So you're attracted and then you wanna keep continuing to follow and learn more. And then as the business owner, it's your job to keep keep those connections with your audience. And there's a variety of ways you can keep those connections, but really stay in tune to their needs, what they're struggling with, and then provide the ways to help them. And that could be enrolling in your program. It could be in another method, but keeping those strong connections is how the new take that attractiveness to the next level. Perfect. Perfect.
Suzanne Proksa:
Okay. So Nora, I'm sure that you have programs or coaching or the combination or freebies and things like that for people to help them get over these fears and, and start doing these things. It definitely takes some help. I feel very strongly about that. And so how do they reach out to you? How do they find you?
Nora Luke:
Yes. When somebody decides to showcase themselves and get out there and build their own stage, having a coach that's there providing support and guidance and the roadmap along with some tough love can be extremely beneficial. And I, my whole goal is to help people create events that convert without overwhelm. So if somebody has this vision, but they don't know how to put all the pieces together, let's go from vision to virtual stage very quick. I find a lot of times people that are on their journey to the 5 ks 10 ks months. I love helping those individuals because I know that overwhelm is very easy at that point in your journey. So I've created a guide to 5 k months, and you can find that at noraluk.comforward/guidetofivekmonths. You can also find me and that resource at noraluk on Facebook or LinkedIn.
Nora Luke:
You're welcome to jump resource at noralunk on Facebook or LinkedIn. You're welcome to jump into the committed coaches group on Facebook. You know, it's obviously it's a social world world I'm out there, but letting people reduce the overwhelming and get their voice out there and harness the power of it. They can grow their business as part of their marketing plan is something exciting to watch develop.
Suzanne Proksa:
All right. Fantastic. People are starting to get over those fears. They know how to reach you. What are 1 or 2 takeaways that you really want people to take from this episode to get them started or get them
Nora Luke:
to that next step? I'd love to remind people that they should never underestimate the power of their voice and showing up to share it. And if you decide to become a host of your own events, you, from a business perspective, you really do increase your credibility and it can be so beneficial for you and your business. And I also wanna remind people, we didn't talk a lot about this, but that online events do not have to be complicated. If you, you know, if you've seen things in the past and you think, well, that's how I have to do a thing. There are some, you know, I'll say new rules, but by new rules, I mean, there's actually, you know, no rules. You can create events that are unique to you and your personality in your business that still convert. And they, again, do not have to be complicated.
Suzanne Proksa:
Nora. I am so thrilled that you decided to join me on the Suzanne show. Fear, self sabotage, all of those things. Oh my gosh. I mean, relatable to almost everybody. Right? I'm so glad that you were here. Thank you so much for your time, and I look very forward to talking to you soon.
Nora Luke:
Thank you. And thank you for everything you do for your audience. I really appreciate the invitation. This has been a joy and I'll just wrap up by saying, remember your voice and experience matter. Thanks.
Suzanne Proksa:
I hope that you loved this episode. If you did, give me those shout outs, show me some love on iTunes, give me a rating, and, hey, if you wanna know where to find me, you can find me on pretty much all social media at Suzanne. That's suzanneproxa and you can also head over to my website, suzanneproxa.com. Until then, we'll see you in the next episode and here is parte music for you.
