Suzanne Proksa:
Welcome to another episode of The Suzanne Show, where I talk a little online business, human resources, personal development, chronic illness, and whatever else I decide to chat about. I am so excited that you are here and I love to hear from my listeners. Please feel free to reach out to me on my website, suzanneproxa.com or on all the socials where I'm also Suzanne Proxa. And don't forget to put that k before the s. Let's move on with the episode. I can't wait for you guys to dive in.
Suzanne Proksa:
Hello everybody, and welcome to another episode of The Suzanne Show. So I have someone super fun here for you today. I am here with Kelly McCarthy. She wrote a book called get past your shit, and we are going to talk today about contact marketing and how to really get past those things that keep us from putting ourselves out there and sharing our gifts. I am super excited to have Kelly here, and I am going to let her introduce herself. Welcome, Kelly.
Kelly McCausey:
Thank you. Hi, Suzanne. Hi, miss. Yeah. So I'm Kelly McCarthy. I'm 54. I live in Michigan. I'm single.
Kelly McCausey:
I have, a son, 2 grandchildren who I'm unreasonably in love with. I am a content marketing and community building coach. And I love collaboration, which is what led to the book. Get past your shit. It's a collaborative project with people in my community, people with stories to tell about how they got past their shit to put themselves out there in the world. And it really formed 2020 for me. It gave me something to do that felt awesome and positive so that I didn't, you know, obsess and dwell on everything that was crazy. And, man, I'm so excited to be here.
Suzanne Proksa:
So what do you mean there was something crazy with 2020? Whatever are you talking about? So, yes. So I think that this is a, a great topic for right now too, because there are so many people just trying to figure out what are what am I gonna do in 2021? Where's my place in this world and all of that. And along with that comes, you know, the fear that all of us run into. So my first question for you though, is what actually led you to write the book? Like what made you say, that's it. I'm I'm gonna write this book. This needs to
Kelly McCausey:
be done. So first thing I want everyone to know about me is that I have been fat almost my entire life. And I don't mean a little bit fat. I mean, a lot fat. I thought I was fat when I was a teenager, when I wasn't actually fat, but yo yo dieting and becoming obsessed with food and using it for, to be the answer to everything. I got up to almost £400. And I, because I spent my entire adult life really overweight and feeling really ashamed of it. I hid out.
Kelly McCausey:
I didn't put myself out there and do anything that would draw attention to myself. And I started my online business in 2002 and it was perfect because back then we, we hardly even put our photos on the internet. And, and then if you did, it was a carefully selected face shot. And, no one had to know that I was fat and ashamed of myself. As the internet got faster, we started to, you know, show more pictures. We started to do video and then crazy things. The craziest thing is that people who were in business online started to get together in person. And I was so resistant to it.
Kelly McCausey:
I had built a business that set me free from debt in the day job. I was a podcaster from the very beginning of podcasting because I had an internet radio show in 2003. And even though I was like this pioneer invited to speak on big stages to come and talk about being an early adopter podcaster, I would never accept the invitations because hell no, I will go. I like this being a voice on the internet. Until it became so compelling that to not show up was, was just impossible to abide. Right? Sure. I, I finally went to my first event in 2009, scared to death that all these people who liked me and respected me would take one look and think, like she's a, she's a big fat mess. Why did we ever listen to her? Like, this is all, this is all a shit that ran in my head.
Kelly McCausey:
And, and you know what? Maybe that happened with a few people. At least they were kind enough, not to say it to my face, but for, for the most part, I was only loved and embraced. I ended up speaking at an, at an event. And the first time I spoke at, at an event, I, as I was finishing up and walking out of the room, an another big woman walked up to me and she had tears in her eyes and she just, she just grabbed my arm and she said, I just gotta thank you because I've never seen a big woman on stage before. I didn't even know it was possible. And I about burst into tears because I was like, Yeah, I don't see any big women on stages either. Every time I had spoken any event I've ever spoken at the same exact thing happened. Some, another large woman would either come right up to me or send me a message and say, you give me hope.
Kelly McCausey:
If you can do it, I can do it. If you can get over yourself and get up on that stage, I can do it too. And I went on to host events. I have host retreats. I am no longer as large as I used to be. I had bariatric surgery. I really took on a journey of, of really taking better care of my body, but I'm still a big woman. I'm way a hell of a lot less, but I am still big and probably walk in this earth.
Kelly McCausey:
I am never gonna be skinny. And it's it's okay. It doesn't mean I have to check out of everything I want to create in the world. So why did I write the book? Because these people kept telling me you seeing you do it makes me believe I can do it. And I thought if that that's true of me about being a big girl, what is that true of for other people? Like, what do people make up? What's their shit that runs that keeps them from putting themselves out there as an authority? What keeps them from sharing their story? What are they making up counts them out because it it doesn't need to. It doesn't. Every single person on stage has some shit running that says they shouldn't be doing it, but somehow some way they step past it and get up there anyways.
Suzanne Proksa:
So true because I mean, you talk, you hear even some of the people who are 7 figures, 8 figures, you know, a year, they still, they still have that, all of those things, you know, and I you're absolutely right. I mean, I have a laundry list of things that my biz friends, you know, are constantly scolding me about like, what
Suzanne Proksa:
are you what are you saying?
Suzanne Proksa:
So I think that we all have that. And so I let's dive into it a little further, you know, as far as, like, some of the things that you see, like, what does what is getting past your shit really mean to you? Like, what does that look like? What are the, some of the things that you have seen?
Kelly McCausey:
So there's a story that runs for most people that, that here's what's wrong with me. And when I fix it, then I can go do what I want. So for me, for, for good 20 years, it was all when I lose the weight, I'll do all the things I wanna do. When I got into my forties and as heavy as I was, there was a day it dawned in on me. No matter what, if I lost it all, I would still not be really happy in my body because now I've got the after effects of it all. Like I've lost over a £100, which just means I'm a big woman, little, a lot of jiggle. It getting past your shit is about not using anything as an excuse. I so I teach people to make a shit list and a hit list.
Kelly McCausey:
Start by making a list of all the stuff that you're letting hold you back, all your reasons why you can't write that book or launch that podcast or speak on that stage or, or volunteer, you know, to, to be part of something, make that big list. And then we're gonna slice it down the middle by asking, is there something I can do about it that would erase this obstacle that goes on your hit list. So that could be, I don't know how to speak in public. Well, great. Go take a public speaking class, check that that's hit list item. But if it's, I don't think I'm attractive enough, then what can you do about that? Like, that's a mindset issue that there were no one. I don't know too many people who are likely to put that on their hit list and get something done about it, unless we're talking about completely revamping your mindset, which would be a great idea, completely going, see a plastic surgeon about getting a beautiful face. That sounds awful.
Kelly McCausey:
Like that's shitless material. That's just something that you're making up as an obstacle that isn't actually an obstacle. And that's something you can just choose to get past. I don't mean that that's easy, but I have found one of the ways that I, I, once I separated things between hit list and shit list, when I'm looking at that shit list and deciding how am I gonna get past it? I go looking for inspiration. And I've got, I've got 3 favorite people in my inspiration list when it comes to my shit about how I look. I think about Lizzie Velasquez. She's a woman who was born with a genetic condition where her body just doesn't store fat. So she literally looks like a walking corpse.
Kelly McCausey:
She was trolled on the Internet and called the one the world's most ugly woman when she was only like 16 or 17 years old. Oh, wow. Yet she gets out there. She did a Ted talk. She travels the world and she speaks. She doesn't let her feelings about what she looks like get in the way. Sean Stevenson who passed away in the last, just a more little over a year ago, Sean Stephenson born with a genetic condition of brittle bones. So, is only about 3 foot tall and lived in a wheelchair and his, his small size and, and, and, physical attributes.
Kelly McCausey:
He could have said, I can't do anything. Nobody wanna listen to me. He went to college, he became a therapist. He's a, he was a, incredibly successful, powerful motivational speaker. He didn't let his feelings about what he looks like and what people think stop him. John O'Leary is an another powerful motivational speaker. When he was a child, he started a fire in his family's garage, burned almost his entire body, lost some fingers in the process. You know, he doesn't let what he thinks about his looks and what other people might think stop him.
Kelly McCausey:
I look at these super freaking powerful people and I go, if they can get past their shit, I can get past my shit. And any one of us, whatever, whatever insecurities we have stopping us, we can find inspiration that that helps propel us forward. And you know what, Suzanne, I'm lucky because my, my biggest portion of shit is about how I look and that's obvious. And so I can go find people who look funny and say, if they can do it, I can do it. But someone who's listening, who's got shit. That's not visible. It's tougher. If you feel fundamentally flawed, Proksa, and unwanted.
Kelly McCausey:
It's not like you can just look around and find other people who feel that way because mostly they're hiding it.
Suzanne Proksa:
It's so true.
Kelly McCausey:
And that's, so that's the book. That's why I wanted people who have all kinds of shit running to share their stories, to provide that inspiration.
Suzanne Proksa:
So I absolutely love that. And I, I hope that the audience took notes on that shit list and hit list. That is absolute genius. I'm going to do that myself when we're done. So thank you so much for sharing that. That is fantastic. And so I'm curious, you know, you talked about when you got up on stage and, you know, you were speaking and the people that came to you after. And that's so interesting that you say that because, you know, I've even experienced that too.
Suzanne Proksa:
You know, even on something as simple as clubhouse, the messages that I get after from some women who feel like they could take on the world after, it's so amazing. And so my question
Kelly McCausey:
So the book launched in October and the, the feedback, the testimonials that have been coming in have been pretty incredible. It's, it's so great when people actually leave their feedback to me and says, I could relate to every story in the book. I to me and says, I could relate to every story in the book. I realized something I never realized how common these fears and insecurities were among other people. One of the greatest impacts I have a gal who turned into a client of mine, who she devoured the book and she messaged me and she said, I have no excuses left for any of my shit. And for the first time, I don't care because if they can do it, I can do it. And that's like, that's that golden moment of that's exactly what we wanted the book to create. When, when, when you are all alone with your fears and insecurities and, and everything you've experienced, all the tough circumstances of life, you make up that you are the only one that, that there's nothing you can do about it and you're stuck.
Kelly McCausey:
And, and to see somebody realize, yep. We're stuck. My life has sucked. Shit's been hard. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a blubbery mess inside full of fears and insecurities, and I can still get up and do something tomorrow.
Suzanne Proksa:
Yes.
Kelly McCausey:
So the impact of that since October has been really powerful. The steps she's taken, the content she's published is, is blowing me away. So that's just one example of impact. I see where someone just realized that shit doesn't have to stop you. It's not going anywhere. I'm still fat, Suzanne. I still I've come a 1000000 miles in just loving and appreciating my body. And yet there's times when I put on something and go, woah, like I still have shit about how I look and every single day I step past it to say, so what? So what, why should it stop me? It didn't stop Lizzie.
Kelly McCausey:
It didn't stop Sean. It didn't, it doesn't stop John. All these people, it doesn't stop. It's not gonna stop me either.
Suzanne Proksa:
So true. I think, you know, the other thing is that we don't realize just what kind of an impact we have when we put our story out into the world or when we, you know, share content. I think sometimes we just don't realize how many people are listening and who we're impacting. I think it's a lot more significant than than people realize. And then also, you know, you're absolutely correct. You know, all of those issues and insecurities that we have, they still hang out in the in the back of your head. You know? I mean, there's a reason why, you know, there's some, of course, some people who love to do journaling. Right? That's their thing of choice.
Suzanne Proksa:
And there's a reason why they're still doing it every day several years later because, you know, there's just always something there in the background. So I that is just really amazing to hear the the impact. And since you mentioned content in there, I think that's a great time to transition to something that you are an expert in and something where
Kelly McCausey:
I know a lot
Suzanne Proksa:
of people need help and that's content marketing. So what is your perspective on content marketing? You know, what what is it? And, you know, why make it your focus?
Kelly McCausey:
So I got my start building a business as a graphic designer, a website designer. I was a work at home mom and I was really curious in about how other moms were making money online, which is what led to starting my, my internet radio show, which was work at home. Moms talk radio. It was all about satisfying my curiosity and, and it created something really magical and unexpected, community. The moms I interviewed wanted to know each other, the moms who listened to the interviews, wanted to know each other. The questions that came up in, in podcast interviews gave me ideas about things to write about. Back then we were big on article marketing. We didn't have logs then, but we published articles around the internet.
Kelly McCausey:
I noticed as I would publish articles, then that would bring more people into the community. So I, I got it right away. Content and community go hand in hand content attracts and serves a community and a community's engagement helps you create more content That blew up my life because the internet radio show became a podcast, 2004 that turned into a paid membership site where, people who, who wanted to really dive deeper were happy to pay to be part of a, monthly training in a private forum. 2005, I quit my day job. I just, I fell so in love with it. Back then it, it was how you connected people. You published content, you gathered them together. Then the internet got, got side swiped by social media.
Kelly McCausey:
I'm not anti social media in any way. I love it, but it did change things. I guys, how you are content marketing, all y'all are, you're just doing it on Facebook posts and tweets and Instagram posts. And, and what breaks my heart a little bit is that you're letting all the content flow there and you're not bringing enough content back home to your website. You're spewing all your golden nuggets, bite sized chunks on social media. And, and then it fades off into the ethers because who remembers what you posted on Facebook 3 months ago? Like all that great juicy golden stuff. If it resonated for a moment on Facebook or Instagram or clubhouse, then, then it needs to be brought back and created as a blog post or a podcast episode, something that lives forever and can be referred to forever on your website because that's, that's a big element of building your community and re exposing them to your brand.
Suzanne Proksa:
Oh my gosh. Preach. Suzanne you repeat that? For the audience. Oh my gosh. I mean, that is so true. And if you think about there's some absolute gold. I mean, I remember the stretch of people aren't doing this as much anymore, but I remember the stretch of time where people were doing those blog style ish type posts on Facebook all the time. And I mean, they would just post there and then nowhere else.
Suzanne Proksa:
And you're absolutely right too. You mentioned Clubhouse. I mean, anybody that spends any time on Clubhouse knows there's gold on there.
Kelly McCausey:
People are dropping value bombs spontaneous in the moment in response to a question and then poof it's gone. Like I just, I hope that they are jotting that down and then taking it back to some other form of content that has legs. You know? So in, like, if we think back to 2,007, I am that I think 2,007 was the 1st year I actually started a block prior to that. It was all article marketing. Oh, the only thing different about that was the format. But in 2007, if I got an idea, if someone asked me a question and I got a spark of an idea, I wrote it down and then I went and I developed a whole item of content around it with a start and a middle and a story and a ending and a call to action. And I published it And it worked for me forever. That article got referred to and recommended and included in newsletters and, and shared.
Kelly McCausey:
And I kept referring back to it and it, it, it was a meaty, juicy item of content that worked for me long after the conversation. And that happened over and over and over again, because I, you know, wrote many, many articles over the years. And so I got questions. I answered, you know, 3 years ago, 4 years ago that were bringing people to me and saying, I I just found you and I read your article and, oh my gosh, it's amazing. I'm on your list. I can't wait to learn more. Compare that to what some people are letting happen today is they're just answering the question on Facebook or they're answering the question in clubhouse. Boom, done.
Suzanne Proksa:
Yes.
Kelly McCausey:
I was like, come on. Like It's
Suzanne Proksa:
still crushing.
Kelly McCausey:
Yeah. It's like, let's not forget that your home on the web is your website. Not Clubhouse, not Instagram. Those are those are where you go out and find people and invite them home.
Suzanne Proksa:
While, you know, there was that stretch of time where there were a bunch of people teaching that you didn't need a website. We, if we go down that road, we'll be an hour or so.
Kelly McCausey:
Yeah. Yep. It, it, there's never going to be a time when your home base isn't important because platforms come and platforms go. Yes. And your content can live forever. If you got meaty, juicy, excited about something and ranted for 10 minutes on clubhouse, you have articles to write blog posts to publish podcasts to publish something that can live forever and be referred to. And if you're missing that opportunity, you know, let's not anymore.
Suzanne Proksa:
Yes. I agree. I think that's a great place to leave that. So important. You know, I this is so funny. We say this because I was on clubhouse yesterday. Actually, maybe it was the other day. I don't know.
Suzanne Proksa:
I've been on there so much, but there was, we give tips in, in our rooms and, you know, one of mine was really specifically targeted to health coaches. And I won't talk about the whole thing. I only wanna mention that I was talking about the fact that when when someone with a because I have chronic illness. When someone with a chronic illness has an issue, the the there's basically a couple places they go to to try to figure it out. Right? They Google
Kelly McCausey:
Mhmm.
Suzanne Proksa:
Which takes you where? Particles, podcasts, you know, it goes to those places. So it's just it's just so important to make sure that you're, you're getting that content where it needs to go. And if if you don't have the time, there are people who will gladly help you with that. Yeah. So let's tie all of that into then what is your best content marketing advice?
Kelly McCausey:
So write about what you're passionate about. Write about something that matters. Take that the last thing that you really felt like ranting about. There's something I teach called banner message strategy. And that where you imagine something you're so passionate about, you would write it on a big old piece of poster board and march it around of your, of your people. Like if you imagine that you're at a rally of your people, what's the message you want to shout out from the top of your lungs so that everybody can see a banner message gets attention. It passes the shrug test. No, nobody wants to look at a sign that says, don't forget to tie your shoes.
Kelly McCausey:
Like, okay, thanks. Like at, like that's a, so what kind of thing, but tie, you know, I'm not gonna go down there that story. But a banner message, like one of my banner messages is, you know, you've got to have something to say, have something to say already, or take a stand and become an invitation like those. I know what those mean, and I'm gonna go deep into what that means. I feel like I'm giving terrible examples right now. One example of a banner message statement, just to give you guys an idea, a client I was coaching on her content, wanted to write about why you should have a daily running habit. And that was the name of our article, why you should have a daily running habit. And I'm like, but like, like, tell me, tell, don't tell me what you're gonna tell me.
Kelly McCausey:
Tell me why I care. And through brainstorming, we came up with a title that said how, how one missed day of run my running routine, how missing one day of my running routine ended in a pile of cookie crumbs and regrets on the couch. Oh, yeah. That, that attention getting title drew people back to why you want to have a daily running habit and how do you create a daily running habit and what sort of things get in the way of a daily running habit? You've got to get someone's attention to get them to come back and read that content.
Suzanne Proksa:
Yes.
Kelly McCausey:
So you've got to develop a banner message, something that really matters. Don't write about boring stuff. If a title puts you to sleep, it's going to put them to sleep. So push a button. Don't be afraid to push a button and engage with people's emotions.
Suzanne Proksa:
Love it. Absolutely love it. You're just dropping gold left and right. So, kind of putting you on the spot here. What are, like, let's say, you know, somebody is coming into this discussion full of fears and insecurities. They need to get some content out there. They need to do something like what, what are the top three things that, you would tell that person to really look at when they're just absolutely terrified right now to put anything out there? And it can absolutely be general.
Kelly McCausey:
Well, my, my first thought is, is you, you must surround yourself with other people who are devoted to the same goal of publishing content and putting themselves out there because there's there's courage in numbers.
Suzanne Proksa:
Yes.
Kelly McCausey:
When you are all alone between you and the computer screen, your fears and insecurities are, are just everywhere. And it's no wonder that you go still and quiet, but when you are engaged in some kind of group masterminding, brainstorming, and accountability where everyone is focused on, let's get something out there. Let's say what we want to say. Then your, your demons get drowned out. That's the best way I can describe it. Yes. So find some kind of a mastermind group to join that that'll lift you up and, and that you can brainstorm ideas with. Because first there's the issue of the fears and insecurities that just would rather you sit down and hush up, but then there's just the technical fear of, I don't know if I'm doing this right.
Kelly McCausey:
And, and so you need both the, the moral support and the strategic support to have confidence, to hit publish on something. And I still need that to this day. There are times where there's something I want to do when my book project would never have come to life if I didn't have people to bounce the idea off from and get feedback from. If it had been between me and the screen, it might never have happened. But because it was between me and 5 or 6 friends who all said, holy shit. Yes. You know, we, the world needs this book then, you know, day by day, I can keep getting past my fears and then securities because I know, I know I've heard good feedback. So surround yourself with people who want the same thing.
Kelly McCausey:
That's that's the first, the first step. And, and then the second, the one other thing I will say is, is choose a medium that you want to do. Don't make video because someone says you should make video. If you hate video, don't publish a podcast if you hate talking, but, but don't write if you hate writing, like flow in the medium of content that you want to do. Yes. And get content published. And then, yeah, you can, once your content is engaging, you can start to stretch yourself in that uncomfortable areas, but that'll be easier once people are engaging with you. Absolutely.
Suzanne Proksa:
Well, that that is an awesome, awesome tip for the audience. So they have probably got a fuller full of notes right now and, wondering how they can reach out to you. Like, how do they connect with you? Do you have anything for them special perchance?
Kelly McCausey:
Oh, well, so my website is love people make money.com. Would love for you to come check out the blog and the podcast. The book site is get past your shit.com. There, there is a, there's a coaching program that is offered for free. When you pick up the book, the book is only $2.99 on Kindle, but I do, I do have, I wanna give your people a gift. And what comes to mind is the banner message training. Nice. So I'm going to make a, I'm going to have to make a code for you to give your people.
Kelly McCausey:
So I'm going to say, let's just make it the code, the Suzanne show. Awesome. And I'm going to just set that up that lets them claim the course, the training for free. Awesome. So the Suzanne Shell is the
Suzanne Proksa:
cool one. Yeah.
Kelly McCausey:
It's gonna get you banner message training 100% free. It's normally $67
Suzanne Proksa:
Wow. That's awesome, everybody. You need to get that for sure. That is very generous. Thank you.
Kelly McCausey:
So that's the Suzanne show, no spaces, and the link to claim that is banner message.com.
Suzanne Proksa:
All right. So we will put that in the notes. Well, thank you so much for joining me today, Kelly. This was definitely an episode packed full of amazing things. I will definitely be referring people to this episode when they struggle with those fears and insecurities, for sure, and need some top notch content marketing advice.
Kelly McCausey:
Thank you for having me, Suzanne. This was fun.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you. And I know I will see you on Clubhouse.
Suzanne Proksa:
I hope that you loved this episode. If you did, give me those shout outs, show me some love on iTunes, give me a rating, and hey, if you wanna know where to find me, you can find me on pretty much all social media at suzanneproksa. That's suzanneproksa and you can also head over to my website, suzanneproxa.com.
Suzanne Proksa:
Until then, we'll see you in the next episode and here is the party music for you.
