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022 | Creating Confidence with Emily Socha

business mindset thesuzanneshow womens issues Jan 21, 2023

Episode Description:

In this SuzPro Live reboot episode of The Suzanne Show, Emily Socha, a confidence creation specialist, shares her coaching philosophy and advice on how introverts can find success in the online business space. She also offers tips for female entrepreneurs feeling overwhelmed or scared about taking the first step towards success. Additionally, they discuss the importance of having an effective website and provide resources to help create one. Tune in to learn more about building confidence and creating a successful online presence!

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Summary:

This episode of The Suzanne Show focused on the topic of confidence in the online business space, particularly for female entrepreneurs. Emily Sosha, a confidence creation specialist, was featured to discuss her coaching philosophy and how introverts can find success in the online business space. Emily believes that true internal confidence comes from falling in love with all aspects of oneself and turning weaknesses into strengths.

She explained that the online space gives introverts an opportunity to do this almost entirely, as it allows them to interact with people when they feel comfortable and have time alone when needed. The conversation shifted to female entrepreneurs who may be feeling fear about putting themselves out there this year. Emily suggested taking baby steps as the biggest thing to do when feeling overwhelmed or scared about taking the first step towards success.

She also discussed how she overcame her fear by talking to herself in the mirror, recording videos, and taking small steps. Additionally, she encouraged listeners not to worry about pleasing everyone but instead focus on turning people on or off with their authenticity.

Finally, Emily offered advice for those dealing with a lack of confidence in their offers such as not going down in flames and having confidence in themselves while charging what they are worth and starting with a price point that makes them feel comfortable. In this podcast conversation, the speakers discussed the importance of having a good website for businesses.

They highlighted that having an effective website is essential for businesses to reach their target audience and build a strong online presence. The speakers also discussed how to create an effective website, emphasizing the need for an attractive design, easy navigation, and relevant content. Additionally, they discussed the importance of using SEO techniques to ensure that customers can easily find the business’s website when searching online.

Finally, they provided resources such as webinars and tutorials available on their website at www.example.com for those interested in learning more about creating an effective website.

The Imperfect Transcript:

Welcome to another episode of The Suzanne Show, where I talk a little online business, human resources, personal development, chronic illness, and whatever else I decide to chat about. I am so excited that you are here and I love to hear from my listeners.

Please feel free to reach out to me on my website, suzanneproxa.com, or on my program site, programs.suzanneproxa.com, or on all the socials where I'm also Suzanne Proxa. And don't forget to put that K before the S. Let's move on with the episode. I can't wait for you guys to dive in.

Hey beautiful human, just a quick note that the episode that you are about to listen to is from my former show, Suze Pro Live. But it is so good that I just wanted to make sure that it was still being shared. So enjoy. I am here today to talk about a very hot topic that I'm seeing lately.

There's a lot of fear out there, a lot of women lacking confidence in their business, and it's really tanking their efforts. And so today I'm super excited to have Emily here because she's going to talk to us about how to create some confidence, get past some of the hurdles and the bullshit that we deal with as female entrepreneurs.

So we're going to repeat a little bit possibly of what we said the first time around, but I'll start by letting Emily introduce herself because she's going to do a much better job than I ever can. You guys know I say that all the time.

Hi guys, I am Emily Sosha. I am a confidence creation specialist. So my background is in personal training and coaching, and I work with ambitious females and males to help them really find a life that they're absolutely in love with.

And we do that by creating a confident body and a confident mind, and that creates a confident life that you can fall in love with and do all the things that you never thought were possible. Awesome.

So Emily, why don't you tell us then about your, really the basis of your coaching philosophy?

Absolutely. So my sort of core idea of how coaching works is that we really can turn our weaknesses into strengths and confidence comes from the ability to really fall in love with all aspects of ourselves and know that we have pros, we have cons, and everything kind of gets blended all in together. And that true like, absolutely internal confidence comes from falling in love with all pieces of it.

So when we think about building off of our so-and-so called weaknesses and making them into things that actually are beneficial for us, that is where, that's where our true confidence comes from. Awesome. So the first time around you talked about introverts, that you were actually an introvert, which completely shocked me.

And I mentioned that I'm this weird combination of extrovert that turns introvert and I want to go hide in a room by myself in a corner with absolutely no interaction with anybody.

And I have clients on occasion who will say they're an introvert and ask, you know, am I really going to be able to make it in the online space when, you know, everybody's attracted to the people who are just really out there?

Like I am most of the time, if you ever watched me, I'm, yeah.

So talk to us about that, you know, for the introverts out there, how do they get that confidence so that they can be successful in business too?

Totally. I think honestly building off of the, what I was talking about before is turning our weaknesses, you know, and I say that with air quotes, into strengths is that the online space gives you the ability to do that almost a hundred percent of the time.

So, you know, like you were just saying, you have, you are mostly feeling like you want to be out there and excited and you know, interacting with people. And then at other moments, you know, you need that time to yourself.

Well, for other people, for introverts, right?

It's usually the opposite. They feel more like they want to be alone. And then they have moments or bursts say of, you know, where they, they want to interact and they want to be with people and they want to, you know, do all that.

And so the online space gives you back that control, right?

When we're interacting with people in our daily lives, maybe in, you know, in person situations, sometimes you don't have that control, but in the online space, you have the ability to designate when you go live, when you have clients, when you are putting, pushing more information, more content out there. And so you can really play to your strengths.

When you feel best in the morning, in the afternoon and, and feed off of that. And then because you're not forced to, you know, interact one-on-one, then take your time and, you know, and set, sit back and breathe or do what you got to do, meditate, exercise, you know, whatever. And then you can, you know, refuel to come back into the space. I love that.

So one of the things that you mentioned earlier was the strengths that are related to being introverted. Yes.

Did you recap that?

Yeah. Good stuff.

Totally, totally. So I was just sharing a little bit about my own journey of, I was very, very shy. I was told that I was a wallflower and that I, you know, had a really like told that I had a hard time making friends. And so being a young person, I believed that. And then I did have a hard time making friends.

And what I found as I traveled throughout my own journey was that characteristics I'll say, because I'm not even going to call them strengths or weaknesses. Those characteristics are now my greatest strengths.

So the fact that I am very observant, that I am more likely to listen than talk, I am more likely to ask questions instead of just, you know, verbalize what I have to say, that those are what is making me successful now, because those are all awesome qualities for a coach to have.

And so, you know, just like I've been saying that to kind of build on that idea of, to just kind of flip around how you might be perceiving yourself of what about this could I turn on its head and I feel like it's hindering me, but how could I look at it in a different way that it could actually be the thing that maybe propels me into a more successful space.

See, and that's a very valuable input because I think with society the way it is, we just automatically dump that into the weakness space and we don't think we don't dig deeper.

So like, one of the things I talk about all the time is when you're trying to actually figure out what people, what people want, what people need is diving deeper, taking that next step in.

And I think that you could do the same with this, you know, at surface level it might look like this is a problem, but in reality, if you dig deeper, it's not there's all kinds of strengths here that you can tap into.

Yeah, totally. Awesome. So one of the things, gosh, there's so many things lately, there's just a ton of fear out there lately for female entrepreneurs this year, especially for some reason, you know, putting themselves out there, you know, so how do they build the confidence to take that first step, you know, maybe to do that first Facebook live is usually the big one.

How do they, how do you get, get to the point where you can get on a Facebook live without a panic attack or your first post in a group where you're just terrified of what people are saying or getting crickets?

Yeah.

How do they, maybe three steps or something to get them there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, honestly, the biggest thing that I tell people all the time, and it's big because I didn't use to believe it. So I was a very go big or go home type of person, black or white, like you're either doing this or you're not.

And I found that that didn't always, I spend more time not doing things because I had that mentality of like, well, I'm not doing the biggest, greatest thing out there. So I just shouldn't be doing anything at all. And it hindered me for a large portion of time. And so now my mantra, as cliche as it might sound is baby steps. Just so I'll tell you a story.

When I first decided that I wanted to start going live and doing, you know, doing more live interaction, I, I mean, you know, panic attack. I was like, I don't even want to think about it.

I had to, you know, completely not even associate. So I started just talking to myself in the mirror, just being able to watch my face and verbalize out loud. And then I started recording video. So I record the video. It wasn't live, but I would record it and talk, you know, talk on the phone and then, and then delete it.

And then, you know, not think about it. And then slowly, but surely being able to be like, okay, I think I could do this live. So I would say, you know, steps are take everything in bite size pieces and also realize that in a lot of that black and white thinking, I think a lot of us do it, whether you're introverted, not introverted, you know, whatnot.

It's, it's tempting to think like, oh, I'm going to put this content out there and everyone's going to see me, you know?

And the reality is nobody might see it.

You know what I mean?

With the way that Facebook algorithms are, or, you know, how active you are in the group.

I mean, literally you, I've had posts go up and not a single light, not a single comment. It probably just got shuffled through to the bottom. And so just realizing that it's all, it's all a journey that doing those little tiny steps in the beginning, I'm just going to post something. I don't even care whether anyone comments or likes or anything.

I'm just going to put it into the group and just let it happen. And then the next time, okay, now I'm going to comment, you know, I'm going to post something and I'm going to go and comment and interact and like make those interactions, you know, come to fruition is, is a way to build into that space where it doesn't feel so terrified. Yeah. I like that. The baby steps. That's awesome.

Yeah. So another thing too, that I've seen lately, gosh, I've seen so many, of course there's the fear of putting offers out there, which is huge. And a big thing. And you talked about appearance on the previous one. Everybody is so terrified of their appearance and such when they get on live.

I mean, do you have any thoughts on that to kind of help people, you know, get past that?

Cause I'm always telling people and it's true that people don't really seem to care.

I mean, again, six, seven figure coach gets on in her bathrobe smoking cigarettes. Right. Right.

I will, I will repeat a piece of advice that was given to me that just resonated and I keep, I stick with it, you know, to this day is that basically you're either always turning people on or you're always turning people off and you're never ever going to please everybody. That's not possible. Right.

I mean, you think about major brands, Nike, there are people who are, will only purchase Adidas, right?

Or whatever other, you know, big things are out there. So it's the ability to turn inward, kind of like we were talking about at the beginning of turn inward and find out what, like who you are at the core of your being and fall in love with those pieces.

Good, bad, everything in between. And then show up as your most authentic self, right, in a way that feels good for you. So does it feel good to you to, you know, like you said, show up in your bathroom smoking cigarettes.

Is that who you are?

Is that like, if you were out in public in the real world, you know, is that who you would be and people would be seeing you and you would still be, if someone said, what do you do?

You would still say, Oh, I'm a, you know, content creation specialist, you know, whatever. Well then that's who you are. And then that's okay. And the people who are attracted to that will be your people and they will be your people because they resonate so much with whatever showing up in your bathroom and smoking cigarettes says to them. Right.

So that's kind of been my, my biggest thing is fall in love with who you are and show up as that person and your tribe will come to you.

Ladies, if you write nothing else down, write that down. It is incredibly important that you go out there as you. And it's funny because I just talked in my life the other day about, I'm obsessed with Gary V and I was listening to one of his books the other day and he talked about his intro that he absolutely hates for his show.

And the reason he hates it is because he's, he was afraid that it would turn people off because he, of his swearing and how out there he is and all of that, but he doesn't change it because if he changes it, then it's not him. So listen to what she's saying.

You know, if you are a complete dork, yeah, you don't work. Yeah. You like professional then get on their dress to the nines and do that. Yeah. I'm ridiculous. And that's what you're going to get, you know, it's important because, you know, just telling my story real quick.

I mean, when I first started as a health coach, I always say, I wish I would have saved some of these videos, but I deleted them all because I was so horrified. But I was so busy trying to be stodgy and professional that you didn't get any of this. Yes. And it's not a track. It does not attract. It's not magnetizing.

And so, yeah, I mean, get that covenants to go out there and just be you. Yeah.

I also, I mean, I totally resonate with all of that.

And it, you know, I think we all go through our own journeys to finally get to that space where you can just be like, listen, like this is who I am. Like you're not going to get, you know, whatever you think that you should be doing.

But it also, it makes me think of, you know, if you have friends, a bunch of friends, say, right, a group of five women or men, and you're like, well, I love her because she's so honest and I love her because she's so funny.

Like all we do is laugh, right?

She doesn't take anything seriously. We just laugh all the time. Think about it in almost the same way of that. People are going to pick up on different aspects of your personality too, based on what they see in you.

Oh, I love the fact that she's super professional. Like she always does X, Y, and Z. And maybe they don't mind like, yeah, you swear, but they don't mind that because they love the fact that you do this. Just like you love the part of your friend where she's so sarcastic.

Like, you know, she's just got to comment for everything. But there are other pieces of her that you're like, well, you know, whatever, but we're friends and that, and that's how it works. So I would think into that space that it's very similar. Is that not everyone is going to be so madly in love with you, just obsessed that they will find pieces of you that resonate with them.

And that is also why they will follow you. That is fantastic advice. And to add to that, not everybody's going to love you and that's okay. Yeah.

Anybody ever freak out when they got unsubscribes?

Yes. I used to.

And now, now I get an unsubscribe and I'm like, well, yeah, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't. I didn't dig it. Just like that horrible boyfriend in high school. Yeah. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah. There's so, that's like a whole nother thing.

We, the similarities between dating and entrepreneurship are like, yeah, that could be a whole episode. True story. Yeah.

You know, the other thing that comes up all the time, and I mentioned it earlier was, you know, one of the reasons that entrepreneurs sometimes fail is not putting their offers out there. They're absolutely terrified.

You know, they think nobody's going to want what they have to offer.

And again, it's a huge confidence issue. Yeah.

I mean, do you have any, any tidbits for people who deal with that?

Totally.

So they don't go down in flames?

Totally. Totally. And you know, it's, I totally agree. I think it's something that everyone struggles with unless they were in some sort of space where they were sharing what they had to offer, which would be rare.

Right?

So I go back to the baby steps thing.

You know, I hear a lot of talk in this space of charging what you're worth and making sure that you have premium pricing. And I agree with that. I absolutely think that there is value to what those people have to share. But I also think that it's worth it to build your confidence by charging what you feel really comfortable.

If you are so super excited about your offer and the price that you're sharing with that, you're going to be jazz and you're going to come on or your content is going to reflect that because you're like, listen, ladies, like I am giving you a deal right now.

You know, like I'm only charging $99 and I could be charging 300 or whatever your numbers might be. And then as you continue to grow, then that bumps up to, okay, now I'm charging $500. And that feels really good to me because I know that I'm giving you $3,000 worth of content or coaching or whatever it might be. And I think that that's, that's really important to think about as, as we go.

And then the other thing is I'm a big fan of flipping things on their head. So I like to look at things from like many different angles because we get so like focused on just one way.

So my next question is always, well, what are you really afraid of not putting your out there offer out there because you don't think it's good enough, but what if it is good enough?

What if it's amazing and it takes off and like thousands of people respond to you and now you're successful. Now you have to write, you don't know who to like, you can't organize your schedule fast enough to be able to, you know, deal with all the, you know, requests coming in.

And so I think that that's a really valid thing to just kind of honor within yourself of like, yeah, actually I think I'm more afraid of being successful than I am of no one responding to me and just kind of playing in that space because it, it can be really, really helpful to be like, Oh, okay. That was really where I was afraid of going.

And then of course, like I said before, playing with your pricing so that you feel super excited to share what you have to offer. That fear of success is huge. And that was one of the things when I became an entrepreneur that I just found so ridiculous, but it was one of my problems. Totally.

Or sure, you know, it's totally, it's terrifying if you're used to living paycheck to paycheck, eating spaghetti, owes her whatever to think about your bank account going from zero to 10 K within a few hours.

I mean, it's totally it, it breaks people out. Yeah. And I think also, you know, the same thing is if, if you're coming from a space where you're working for someone else, they have determined your value. So they have said, this is what I'm going to pay you. This is what you will get in your paycheck.

And it feels very, very different to even be receiving that same amount, but because you asked for it, because I said, no, no, no, no, this is, this is what I charge. Please give it to me. I will give you a service, but please give it to me. And that's like, Whoa, you know, that's almost terrifying in its, in its own sense.

So, you know, I do a lot of just honoring that space that it is different than someone else saying to you, okay, you're making $50,000 a year, but you making $50,000 a year all on your own feels a lot different. Yeah.

Well, and in entrepreneurship too, I mean, a lot of times people are making a lot more money than what, you know, yeah, then they were working for somebody else.

So right, right. It's a whole different ball game. Yeah. Wow. I think that there's been a lot of good stuff here today.

Did you have anything else that you wanted to share with the audience before we dive into how they can reach you?

Just not be afraid to turn inward and to just like acknowledge yourself for who you are. That practice in and of itself is so powerful.

You know, when I first started, I spent so much time downloading, you know, other things and looking at other people and looking, oh, that coach is doing this and that could, and it wasn't until I was like, this is what I want to do that, that I, that I really saw a change in, you know, myself and my business and all that.

So I would just say, take a moment, even if it's right after this live to just kind of be like, who am I and what about me do I love and that I can acknowledge and bring forth. And that does make a huge difference because you probably saw the look on my face. I did the exact same thing following everybody else, trying to duplicate what they were doing.

And then when I finally got to the point where I'm like, screw this, you know, I'm innovative. I can do my own thing. That's when things took off. Totally. So totally.

Well, fabulous.

So Emily, I'm sure there are people out there who have listened or watched and are thinking, how do I get in touch with this girl?

Where can they find you and do you have any freebies or anything that they can do?

Yeah, absolutely. So my website is, my name is EmilySocia.com. I'm also on Facebook. I'm tagged in a bunch of these posts. So come and find me on Instagram too. Instagram was actually my first love, but my freebie is a guided confidence creation meditation. So it's kind of a shorter version of a lot of what I do with my one-on-one clients. And I will tell you that it's awesome.

It's something that I do myself as well. And I'll say, you know, I just made a comment about downloading freebies. It is not another freebie. It is absolutely giving you the space to, just like we've been chatting about today, to find out what, like who you are, what resonates with you, what do you have to offer that makes it so amazing that you can go forth and put your stuff out there.

So like I said, it's about 13 minutes. It's a guided confidence creation meditation. Very nice. So we'll go ahead and grab that everybody. And just a quick thing. If you guys are watching live, this will get downloaded and then uploaded to the YouTube channel and it will go to my podcast, which is now on, let's see if I can get them all. It's iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify, and iHeartMedia.

So any of those you can go to and listen to this episode. I would say by tomorrow. Just to make sure I have time to get everything processed. But thank you again so much for being here, Emily. Thank you so much for having me. It was awesome and definitely great advice that I know a lot of people will find helpful. Thank you. It was so great to be here.

Thank you so much. Bye everybody. Bye. I hope that you loved this episode. If you did, give me those shout outs. Show me some love on iTunes. Give me a rating.

And hey, if you want to know where to find me, you can find me on pretty much all social media at Suzanne Proxa. That's S-U-Z-A-N-N-E-P-R-O-K-S-A. And you can also head over to my website, SuzanneProxa.com. Until then, I'll see you in the next episode. Bye everybody and here is my party music for you. Bye.

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